I want to tell you everything that’s on my mind,
But I promise I still speak from my heart;
I wanted only one thing, and that was for you to believe;
And to feel a little something, we all know as love.
I wanted you to experience zero gravity;
I wanted so desperately, for you to fly with me;
I wanted only, for you to look at me;
For you to choose me; for you to love me.
And I begged you, didn’t I?
That was my desperation, because I knew you didn’t;
You couldn’t; and you wouldn’t love me,
But I want you to know, and to always remember,
That despite all this, I still love you forever.
I have cried a lot for you –happy and sad tears;
You’ve hurt me a lot over the years,
I guess I just got disappointed,
Because here I am loving a man who I knew,
Didn’t love me the way I wanted him to.
But I was still determined to have him look only at me;
Wanting him to fall in love with me,
But it wasn’t like that, it wasn’t that easy,
And I’m just a fool who wants to fly;
Jumping off a building and hoping not to die.
I wanted to fight and to prove you wrong;
I wanted you to realize that I could be the girl
Walking down the aisle, to you;
And maybe then you’d be willing,
To do anything for me too.
For what reason I wanted this? I wanted you of course!
I’ve never felt so close to anyone before;
I wanted so much to wake up every morning with you,
To the point that I’d be devastated,
To see a pillow instead of your face.
And yet I still failed, you never really looked at me;
You didn’t see how much I tried,
How much I struggled to have you love me;
I’m honestly very timid and shy,
And yet I was so willing to be,
What you wanted and needed;
I gave you everything,
And yes I held back, but only because you did.
To me, you were this guy who touched my heart,
When no else dared reach for it;
You gave me your honesty; you never lied to me,
You kept pushing me to find someone else,
Because you knew you didn’t deserve me,
And I loved you all the more whenever you pushed me.
I hold no anger in my fists; I hold no hatred in my heart,
And despite everything, I still want to stay beside,
I want to keep loving you, even when you don’t,
But the thing is, I keep trying to mend,
Other people’s hearts and never mind my own;
I need and deserve love just as much as you do,
And so I can’t continue trying to mend yours
When mine isn’t even whole in the first place.
I hope you find someone,
Who can give you the love you need,
Because no matter how much I wanted to give you this,
I have to accept I can’t give something I don’t even have.
I also want to say thank you, you’ve helped me a lot;
You’ve helped me grow,
And I’ll keep on getting better,
Keep on improving myself;
Learn and experience new things, and be happy,
And I want you to do the same; I want you to be okay,
To be strong and to say on to the next journey;
I fell in love with you that day you said that,
And I fell in love with you every day after that;
I just wish you fell for me the day I told you I did,
And everyday fell for me another foot deep.
And I know I said I’d give up on you,
But I’m still hoping that one day we can be friends,
But I warn you, don’t you dare
Fall in love with me then.
I love you and please be well.